Rebecca Cook

Yesterday was an all-day migraine day. A day in the dark. A day spent alone. But staying in the dark, and taking medication, drives the headache away enough that I can function. In the dark. Alone. In my chair. (moving around too much causes nausea) But I did get work done~ I built out my capsule wardrobe (see the clothes.) I removed most of the black, which I've long wanted to do. I get so tired of black tees and black…

the winds of march churn the red sea, the rattling machine rusting the water, metal uncurling in the fire, abandoned chairs, full kettles in stasis on the stoves. we stop ten times on the way to the beach, the rearview recording our evacuation from the hills, the little valleys of churches, the mountains folding up behind us. sometimes we used to bring clear water to our lips, the clean spring water choked with lilies. sometimes we used to wake up inside…

Yesterday we drove down to Fairmount, GA, to pick up my brother, bring him up for a doctor's appointment, and then take him back home. Everything went well, but it's a 1 hr. drive there. So we were in the car for 4 hrs. Yikes. Today I will go to the grocery store. And further ponder sus out why how to establish a routine. I have never really done this to my satisfaction. I'm one of those persons who desperately wants…

03/21/23 I am feeling vulnerable. And I am feeling so good inside this new space I’m making. I am feeling a little like the snake who just shed his skin. A little. As I work toward adopting mindfulness, I feel lighter. And accomplished. But I also know that generally my habit is to become enthused, then work really too too hard, then fall away from the positive shift in paradigm. I do not want to sabotage myself. But I have the…

3/20/23 As I have been bothered by my appearance, by how others must think of me when they look at me (a dangerous line of thought), I just made a video of myself. I talked a little, then read a poem. I look, and move, like an ordinary middle-aged woman. I am not hideous. I am not extraordinary. I am normal. I do have a "buffalo” hump back of my neck. I have tried a few times to mitigate the look…

I am tired this morning. And bluish. And not wanting to do much of anything. I am plagued with thoughts of my weight. Of how I look when other people look at me. Of my age, trying to reconcile my actual age, not the image I have stored in my brain. I am dogged, dogged, dogged with thoughts of sugar, desserts, binging. To binge or not to binge. A constant question. An earworm. I feel overwhelmed and stuck. Of course when…

3/18/23 I am tired, but in a good way. I've done today the things I generally likedoing and some I don't do often, probably because I dislike doing them,but so love having gotten them done. I cleaned up downstairs. (lately, before I let Helo have at it with thefloor, I sprinkle the rugs with ground cloves. I am finding myself quitebrilliant in this. a little goes a long way) Then I let the little robotdo all the work while I sit and…

Good morning. So dragging my feet. I think I have to accept that I am just going to stay up late to midnight really and get up at 7:30. If only my body didn’t insist on getting up in the 6s. Cooked breakfast, as usual. Frothed the milk for my coffee—I’ve been doing this a while and I really like it. I was no longer satisfied with my coffee and it was time for a change. And actually I enjoy decaf…

3/14/23 because good things require good work i have migrated here, to Word Press, after a very frustrating last year dealing with Weebly. when i decided to dismantle my old website, i got to thinking about losing my blog posts and how important it was to keep them. then i thought of my old live journal posts. years ago, dale was supposed to get a program to “grab” them all, but we never followed through. i just figured they were gone.…

I'm up too early, much. But I lost an earplug and if I don't have them in, my husband's snoring wakes me. But I don't mind. I like to get up earlier rather than later, even if I've had only 6.5 hrs. sleep. I still haven't broken the Covid stay-up-too-late routine. And we keep playing MAGIC the GATHERING, which I have fallen in love with. And which keeps me up. I have individual therapy at noon. I look forward to this…