the winds of march
churn the red sea, the rattling machine rusting the water,
metal uncurling in the fire,
abandoned chairs, full kettles in stasis on the stoves.
we stop ten times on the way to the beach,
the rearview recording our evacuation from the hills,
the little valleys of churches,
the mountains folding up behind us.
sometimes we used to bring clear water to our lips,
the clean spring water choked with lilies.
sometimes we used to wake up inside our windows
the hot sun branding our bodies, how clean is a scorched bone?
the brine covers us as we drive our car under the bridges,
under the houses, under the endlessly stacked shapes of the city.
and we are salt.
we are unborn.
we are the remains of the unforgiving March winds,
that roared in,
and devoured the lamb,
on their way out.
BLOG:
there is no why, only how
after years and years and years of–
TALK THERAPY,
i am finding that i must let go of WHY
and focus on the HOW.
How to move forward. How to cope. How to massage my life into a better shape. But how to do this huge thing? What is the How?
By letting go of the ALL OR NOTHING mindset.
But I don’t know how to do this. HOW?
It is likely the most single point of focus needed to let go of the things that are killing me, scalding me now.
Scalding me now (thanks, Emily)
I must trudge on with the DBT exercises. More than the ole’ college try. Do a deep dive.
This will take much time and effort, the kind of effort that doesn’t come easily to me.
And attention, MINDFULNESS. Stay in the moment and find the Spaces Between Breaths.
Which is difficult also, what Genene Roth wrote about in her overeating books–the SPACES BETWEEN BREATHS.
