I picked up the canvases from the gallery today. I love them so much. It is beyond gratifying to see my work, images that before today only existed on my computer screen, in living I-can-TOUCH-them color. They are vivid. Strange. Weird. Scary. Ugly. Lovely. Provocotive. I only wish they were on larger canvases. I want everyone in the world to see them and go WTF?
Also, learned that my idea of not “caring” about criticism about my art is…BS? We will see. When I brought the canvases home and showed the large angel to Dale, his first comments were to remark upon the “issues with upscaling the image.” I had not noticed this problem before he pointed it out, that the lines are “juddered,” as though they have been stretched. I was so furious. Upset. Wanted to cry a little bit for just a split second of a little bit. Then I pulled myself off of it and settled down.
I was, in some ways, upset because I didn’t want to seem quite so unprofessional. That is humiliating. Except–I AM unprofessional. I did all of this on-the-rush, last-minute. Then I got to thinking about it and I checked out the original image and the lines are juddered in it–it was not that the gallery had issues with the image. And the lines are not juddered because of me either. It is Paint.net
There are other images that I have done on this platform that have the same issue and I think it must be the lag in response time to the pen on my screen. Or something. Not all of the images I’ve done with it have this issue. Earlier I was drawing and there is a terrible lag, but no juddered lines.
In any case, I don’t need to delude myself that I don’t care what others say. I do. But I also need to be prepared for the worst possible thing that could happen at the opening. That would be no one noticing my canvases at all. (gulp)
Of course, the best salve for failure is to create new work. And boy am I ready. I am working on a very exciting new piece. And I have learned new things in all this process. And I will figure out what to do/what to buy/how to do as I move forward.
I am thinking that cards for sale at the fair on Saturday are not going to happen. Dale is sick and seems to be getting sicker. Boo. But.
Arm the bear.
