So let’s talk about skin care. I’m not good at it, but now that I’m 60 it seems to be more important…well, maybe because I just had the considered-medically-necessary brow lift and I’m thinking, well, time to make a greater effort.
The biggest problem has always been rinsing, the hassle of it, getting water everywhere. And the yuck of heaviness of just-moisturized skin. And the sweatiness from it. And the hassle of just wanting to go to bed already, or just wanting to get up and get coffee and not fool with my face.
But, since the brow lift and all the Botox (for migraine), I figured I should make an effort (I get these skin-care urges every three years or so anyway) so I went to Ulta and because of the lack of help and I was in no mood to hunt anyone down, I with the idea of Clinique skin care because I love the idea of Clinique skin care and makeup. but let me be clear I only bought a very expensive serum and moisturizer, I am already sold on the La Roche-Posay cleanser. And all those toners and crap are just shit, yeah? I’ve been using the serum like crazy probably much too much at once, and when I buy serum again it is going to be La Roche-Posay instead. It is no doubt just as good and much less expensive I may end up with the old Olay when all is said and done.
I have a friend who uses La Roche-Posay serums and creams and I think I’m going to try her skincare routine and use these products. It’s worth a shot. She’s very detailed and uses timers and does this massage thing and considers it “me” time, which could be a good thing. I am seeing a dermatologist Thursday and I will talk to her about it, and she may tell me what dermatologists have told me before–nothing does anything except sunscreen, that Vaseline is as good as anything else, that its mainly genetic, and this chick I see, who just moved from a straight-up skin cancer clinic to a practice (run by women) that also does procedures, will likely say that I just need procedures, that the serums are a waste of money, and my friend has great skin because of her GENES. Well, there it is. I have plenty of sun damage, but I’m not worried over wrinkles or that kind of thing. The fact is, you look as old as you are, no matter what you do. You may look better at sixty-five than seems possible oh-my-just-look-at-her-skin, but you still look pretty much sixty-five.
I’m really seeing my dermo because I am having a flare up of, what I guess I have to call, skin sores (really just one) due to the friction of my baby belly which was caused long long ago from having babies and from years of being obese. I wouldn’t use the word obese except that in this case it’s entirely relevant.
i mention the obesity because of the pro-fat happy-to-be-fat-and-proud-of-it body positivity movement. I am all for it, hear me fat roar, and all that. I’m glad that there is a movement toward letting bodies be bodies whatever their size, letting us celebrate ourselves as we are, and really, the whole body war is about BEAUTY more than size anyway, or rather, beauty is at the core of it, and youth is at the core of the beauty standard. But I won’t digress into that subject. I just want to say that there are consequences from being fat, long-term, lifelong fat, being terribly overweight as I am, and one of them is ongoing serious problems with one’s skin.
No one talks about this. In fact, in all of my reading, the only time I’ve read about chaffing of the thighs was in Feeding the Hungry Heart and that is an old book now. And that was just chaffing, just irritation. I’m talking about serious infections of the skin–not terrifying HP (hidradenitis suppurativa) or boils, but sores caused by friction, sores that can get infected and interfere with your day-to-day living.
Being too heavy can cause all sorts of body troubles that have nothing to to with your heart, or your pancreas, or your liver, or your eyeballs. Health professionals seem to always think that I am diabetic (I’m not), and the doctors that treated my knees (and replaced them) never just straight up said, “How about we get your insurance to pay for a rehab program and maybe get some of that weight off before we carve you up?” or “Have you considered gastric bypass? It might be better than joint replacement before 60.” No…well to be fair, I wasn’t too terribly overweight when I had my first (left) knee replacement, but I had been terribly overweight and as everyone ought to know by now, almost no one, NO ONE, keeps off the weight they lose when they lose a lot of weight, and by the time I was ready for my right knee replacement, I had gained back sixty pounds.
But I have digressed into joint pain and I wanted to focus just on skin. Because no one talks about it. It is a serious, humiliating problem. I tell myself not to be humiliated, but I am. I can’t seem to help it. I have been going to Pulmonary Rehab and loving it, but I can’t seem to make it in on a regular schedule because of my skin flare ups (and migraines). I am too embarrassed by all this to tell them what’s going on. And I’m pretty sure that they don’t want to hear it anyhow.
I do want to point out that I might have these skin problems even if I weren’t obese. My belly started when I was pregnant with my first child. The second child just added to it. I was a smallish person back then. But I know that being so heavy for so many years does make it worse and I wish there were more openness about these sorts of fat-related problems. But….considering my own embarrassment about it, it’s unlikely that awareness will be raised, certainly not by me.
And maybe I’m out of the loop anyhow. I haven’t watched any of the biggest loser, my life as a fat person, type shows. maybe they talk all about these things.
But recently, when I have seen doctors try to point out that, in spite of the Body Positivity movement’s good intentions, obesity can cause all sorts of harms, they seem to be almost apologizing for bringing it up, for fear of being canceled out by the general boos and the overall we’re-sticking-to-our-fatness-guns-no-matter-what noise.
And more’s the pity. Being militant about one’s right to remain fat won’t help people with bellies like mine. I need more choices, more options of how to be treated.
