friday i got into my swimsuit and got into the water. it was of course, glorious. i intend to get into the water again.
this is my local public pool. it is free, indoors, and super clean, but the locker room is a little creepy. when you get out of the shower (there are only 2), anybody who just walks in can see you in all your glory. so i either need a small robe (bulky!), or will have to use these uber-large tee shirts (also a bit bulky). and will be colder than i like in the winter, but swimming in the winter is so cold anyway. perhaps i can request that they put up a curtain to separate the shower area from the locker room?
i enjoy going places FROM the gym. i don’t like to go home and shower. but. we will see. i am also a little creeped out because there is no real security like there is at the Y, but i suspect i am being paranoid.
i have been waking with an upset sour-y stomach these past few days. i suspect it is TOO MANY GRAPES. but could be the changes in my diet. i am eating less bread and more other things like cereal, fruit, noodles. and tomatoes. tomatoes could also be an issue.
but about these grapes! i miss the Sumos SO much and am trying to replace them with something. and apple season is a long way off. i am trying kiwis as well. and is there another orange that would fit the bill? i doubt it. Sumos are utterly unique.
i am discontinuing certain medications that i have been taking for a long time, specifically Lamictal and Gabapentin. The Lamictal I discussed with my shrink. I am down to 1 pill at night which means I cut out the morning dose and have halved the nighttime dose.
i believe this may be why grapes suddenly seemed like miracles and why i felt high almost HIGH. we went to supper with a friend and he mentioned my energy energy and i dampened myself.
and was fine. was FINE. that is the difference with the DBT (dialectical behavior therapy). i am developing a greasy duck’s back. things are flowing off of me. this is a new ability. letting things go instead of letting them fester. i am learning the difference between major things and minor things.
(but as always, i must be wary and tread carefully in the matters of my quirky brain and keep a not-too weather eye on the ole mood)
but i am just going to get OFF the Gabapentin. period. it is a mind-altering drug and i don’t want to take it anymore. after my knee replacement in 2019, i developed a condition–CRPS–complex regional pain syndrome. this was so painful that i could barely tolerate anything touching the area below my knee. it was like having shingles again–even the brush of a breeze was intolerable.
so they put me on Gabapentin and i got better. but i also became…dependent on this drug? convinced that i would be in so much pain if i stopped it? and it has seemed this way in the past when i cut the dose to more than what i was taking a week ago. (well, it’s not been a whole week yet) in any case, i have halved the dose down and i will wait a couple weeks to do it again. (this is also okay. i have discussed this with my pain doc in the past and i am tapering) best not to think too much about it. i am keeping careful records of these med changes.
and about pain pills–both times with my knee replacements, i took oxycodone. but at a certain point, usually after 3-4 weeks (that long?) i had to just stop the painkiller because it MADE THINGS worse. more medicine = more pain. i go to the pain clinic because of chronic pain, but i do not want to be on Gabapentin, which is an EVERYDAY all the time drug. i have oxy and muscle relaxers that i can take as needed, not all the time. so, it is time to move on from Gabapentin. (it is also a controlled substance and while having controls like valium or oxy is weird, having Gabapentin, which you cannot skip or miss doses, is another thing altogether)
i have bursitis in my hips. this can be very painful. i am “supposed” to do PT exercises for this, but i haven’t been. when i originally got these exercises from PT, they hurt my knees too much. but now that i am more active, MUCH more active, they don’t hurt my knees, but i still hate them. so i have discovered the one thing that seems to keep things at bay–stretching out my leg with a rigid strap–
i do this in the recliner. getting into the floor is just a pain. a LITERAL pain. in any case, this stretch is highly effective.
my migraines are returning. it is almost time for BOTOX and i realized Saturday that with all the stress these last couple months, i forgot to follow up with my neurology clinic about getting the drug approved. i am calling this morning ASAP. i hope i’m not SOL. please, please, please.
i have some tests today–an echo of my heart and a scan of my leg. i think that’s the order/type. these are likely completely unnecessary, but better safe than sorry when you’ve got great insurance.
it’s time to make breakfast. i think i’ll have cream of wheat and canadian bacon. as always, i will cook eggs and bacon for Dale.
toodles,
~r.
