so. the knee. i had an mri and i saw my doctor and he said, You have a tear in your meniscus and part of your meniscus is flapping around. You must see the joint expert and he will tell you if he thinks you would benefit from a scope or if you need knee replacement.
this is troubling on so many different levels. if i have surgery, i won't be able to teach this fall, whether it's a knee replacement or a scope. my instinct is to just put the surgery off until the spring. if i get a handicap sticker, i will be able to park close enough to classes so that i don't have to kill myself getting to classrooms. i so do want to teach.
if i have a knee replacement everything is just sketch--i am only 51 and knee replacements last about 20 years, maybe longer, maybe only 15 years. the second replacement is much more difficult than the first and that sounds too terrible.
my right knee, while in much better shape than my left, has problems of its own. i'm afraid that if i have surgery and my right knee has to take over, it won't be long before it gives out.
and then there is the pain. a scope is bad enough, but a replacement takes real courage. there is a lot of pain and a lot of hard work in therapy. i shudder at the thought of it and it makes me cling to the scrappy little knee as it is.
as it is--weak. it gives way. it's altogether wonky. but as for pain? yes, it can hurt. but it's not the kind of pain that makes me crazed like hip pain or neck pain. it's not at all like fibromyalgia pain or a migraine pain. which begs the question--
would i do well with the knee pain from a replacement? i scare can imagine it. Dale says that my recovery from the scope on this same knee, back in 2006, was not insignificant. but i don't remember anything about it. except that it swelled up the day after the surgery and had to be drained. which was yuck and painful, that i do remember. but nothing else.
the one thing i haven't tried with my knee is complete rest for a week. complete rest. when i see the joint guy on friday, i will ask him about this.
cross every finger in every house in every corner of the world that i might keep my knee for a long while yet.