Is this because I just overdo it? Do I use up my spoons? Can this be measured in spoons? Can this be measured in manias? Can this be more mental than physical?
I do not know. But I am out of focus. I have been fixated on a project that, after two full days, seems a little silly. But it is meant to simplify my life, and like most simplifications, it's getting to be pretty complicated.
I read about capsule wardrobes. And I love this idea. I often go to my closet and try on all these things, trying to decide what to wear. It's stressful and, from what I've been reading, totally unnecessary. Having capsule wardrobes would also save me tons of money because I would stop buying clothes on impulse. I would always have a plan. I would never shop willy nilly.
The idea is that you have a color palette. And you buy certain pieces in those colors and everything revolves around those pieces. You can mix and match. Everything goes with everything else. And every season, you can throw in some trendy "wildcards" to jazz things up.
I have been making out my own wardrobe fantasy, complete with fashion sketches I lifted from the Internet. This fantasy is full of the, don't you knows, like, Every woman needs a tailored black jacket. Every woman needs dress pants that fit. Every woman needs a little black dress. Shouldn't every woman have a basic trench? Every woman should have clothes that are classic and never go out of style. These are the basics in the capsule collections. It is a very solid I idea and I LOVE the IDEA. But--
Now I'm stepping back from this marvelous, military-style disciplined approach and thinking about what I actually DO WEAR. I do not have a job and even when I did work my clothes came off as soon as I came home and I changed into knock around, completely comfortable clothes. When I was working I had this idea that I should never wear the same outfit more than once, or twice. Which meant I owed lots and lots of clothes I didn't get much wear out of.
Historically, whenever I'm home I do good to get dressed unless I'm going out. I like to be uber comfortable all the time. I never wear jackets. I like dresses. Comfy skirts. Tunics. Yoga pants. Leggings. No-stain t-shirts. Cardigans. When I do dress up, I am hardly classic. I like to mix up a plain black dress with an elegant scarf or gloves. When I go out to shop I like to look nice, but I am not going to "throw" on a classic jacket and tie on a scarf to "pull" together my outfit. I am more likely to grab a pair of yoga pants and a tummy-hiding shirt, a sweat jacket or cardigan, my Keens, and just go. Or a pair of comfy jeans, a tummy-hiding long-sleeve shirt, my furry boots, and just go. And still--
I end up with a closet stuffed with clothes I never wear, some with the tags still on. Or I wear a shirt only once or twice. Or I have clothes stuffed in there I've completely forgotten.
So the idea of a capsule is a good one. I just have to figure out what will work for me. And this I have been doing the last couple of days. I have felt awful and rundown. But the sun is up and I am waking up and coming to. I may go to church. I may not. Net wants me to go down to her place and help her with new clothes, what to keep, what to return. I also want to go shop for new undies. And the Oscars are tonight. I may take Lulu for a walk.
And a last note. I have been also working on very-loose schedules. This is a bad idea. I never do well with schedules. I like the IDEA of a schedule and the idea of sticking to it. But I never do. But I would like to have some sort of structure. And I would like to do capsule wardrobes.
Can I ought I to change my behavior? Ought I to embrace the must-have black jacket? Ought I, at the very least, have a goal for each day, or each week? Would everything be easier if I had the built-in structure of a job?