i have this idea that if i could just stop fixating on the thing it would right itself.
like pain. the trick is to ignore it. if it gets bad, take a pill or rest or soak in the tub. have a glass of wine. or get moving moving moving.
i was saying STOP and it was working. then i started binging again. and i'm seeing a food coach and now i'm still binging and trying to get to the why.
but dr. skinner would tell me to just change the behaviors, if i can figure out what they are.
i need a strategy. for binging. for eating. for bipolar. they are enmeshed.
i will learn to count to ten. and breathe. perhaps this will be better than focusing on the why of it. i always focus on the why. and end up spinning my wheels round round around.
yes, dr. skinner. i need a strategy. for eating. for bipolar.
food is not the enemy. i can eat whatever i want. i know this. but i can't eat as much as i want, the angry fuck you thing. the little girl toddler baby. i can't kill her off or root her out. i must just get her to close her mouth. to hush. and i can share a cookie with her. just a little.