i do a dance with my oxycodone. with good reason. if i take them often, they do not work as well, so i try to take them only for severe pain and for times when i must go out and function and do things without being in agony. the doctor gives me 45 5mg pills to take every six hours as needed for pain. the first time he filled them i made them last a month and a half. the next time, two months. this time i am taking more and i hate it. i get panicky when i'm about to run out. i will pretty much have to take them most of the time at awp, i recon. i'm already getting afraid that i won't be able to go. anyhow, i am going to wait until april 3rd and then get a refill. i leave for awp on the 8th.
i have arranged a wheelchair and assistance with my flight my bags my boarding everything. delta does not ask you what you disability is and while part of me feels like a baby make pretend for getting assistance, i also know that if i expend energy traveling through the airport i will have nothing left for the conference. so i am taking everything i can get. and i am not going to take the super shuttle because i will likely have to stand and wait and wait. i am having someone roll me to the curb and put me into a cab and i'm riding to the hotel. it will cost more money, but i don't care. i am determined to enjoy my time away, to hang out with my friend, and for the first time, to attend panels and readings. i usually spend my time drinking and eating and partying and strolling in desperation around the book fair. no way. not this time. just the thought of it exhausts me.
myfitnesspal not much to say don't want to jinx but am doing
mood wobbly. hope it will stabilize now dale's home.
difficulty getting to sleep. brain switched the writing voice get up get up the lord is calling. ignored it. went to sleep.
of course i slept so much yesterday and thursday it's no wonder.
lab report back, though i had to call the dweebs and ask for it. lithium is right where doctor wants it. and my feet are not as swollen now.
taking valium a lot. i have a lot of it. i'm not worried about it but what interests me is how much it helps the pain. i think. will keep out my eyes. so much of my pain comes from tension. of this i am sure. and i don't think it's stress tension.