I am not quite sure what you did to me. You made me delightfully drowsy then you made me a bit oh my god how amazing I will sex I will fly I will something something something large and I was suddenly cagey, thinking I will take this even if it makes me very, very manic cause it fucking rocks. And Mr. Gabapentin, this feeling only lasted a few moments. Then I couldn’t sleep and don’t blame you at all as I had coffee on the way home from the reading, late coffee. So I took my normal Trazadone and also a Valium and slept very well and when I woke up only my upper back hurt.
I woke up at 4:46. I went to sleep at 10:00.
But my blood pressure is still up. I can’t blame you for that because it was already up the last couple days.
Now I am weird. I am dizzy and whirly, but I don’t think that’s your fault either as I’ve been dizzy and whirly the last couple mornings, which is most likely my friend Fibro. So not sure what to think.
If you helped me with this pain, then I want more of you and I will take more of you tonight, another pill, and I will go to sleep as soon as I get drowsy, and I will see what happens. I can’t remember any dreams or any essence of dreams.
The Girl Who Must Admit She Loves To Get High
Took the beta blocker, 10mg, this morning. If there are any sexual side effects (bad ones) then I will stop taking it. I likes me sex to sex it up.
Started the dose of Calcium 600 this morning. When I went to rheum doc they did a bone density test and even though I’m a BIG girl and BIG girls don’t get osteoporosis as often/do not have as great a risk as little “waif” (hey, I am looking for the word for thin. I know there’s lithe, but I keep thinking “waif” and just looked it up and it is not what I’m thinking damnit somebody give me the damn word) anyway thin thin I look so good and fit small women, one of my arms and one of my hips are borderline. The woman who did the test, most delightful woman, didn’t seem to be too worried about the test and just told me to increase my Calcium. So now, morning and night.
Will get in pool. Will get Noel to stretch me and will talk with him about the different body therapy techniques I’ve been reading about. Will, if energy allows, go to Pearle and get my lenses put in my glasses. Will read for tonight’s EFM class (hope this book with the hideous cover and hideous title doesn’t suck a bone dry).
And will watch the mood. The head. The body. The pulse. The thought that becomes the word that becomes the haiku.
I’ve started doing the calf stretch, apparently properly as it is helping.
That’s my check-in. Now you go check-in, too. Your bipolar shadow is a slippery thing slinky she may stick to the wall she may start to whisper.
Okay all you bipolar whirligig superheroes. Have a good day. No flying though. Our capes never work.
As To Record--
Began Gabapentin on 12/7/14 pm 1 pill.
Began beta blocker 10mg 12/8/14.
Weighed in, a little loss 12/8/14.
Blood pressure up, hence the beta blocker.
Took more oxy than usual yesterday—1 ½. And it didn’t seem to work very well. Which is to be scary which is to be dreading which is to be don’t dwell on this.