I wanted to go shopping yesterday and I couldn’t. Dale and I went to the Xmas market at our church and just standing at various booths looking at things chatting picking up putting down buying was too much. So when we came home Dale went out to do groceries and I’m thinking, well James wants to go shopping and I called Wal-Mart and they said anyone can use those little roll around carts so I took him there and none was available so I sat in the car and waited for him which was stressful will he spend all his money will he get confused will I should I go in and find him and then when we finished he couldn’t find my car and then I pulled up and he still couldn’t find me but then he did but we had to stop for drinks and then the drug store drive-through window and then I came home and crashed so hard down when the body hits the pavement all sorts of liquids squirt out.
DO NOT DO STRESSFUL THINGS WHEN YOU ARE JUST HANGING ON GOING THROUGH THE WRINGER WHEN YOU ARE IN THE WRINGER BE VERY STILL AND UNTIL THE HOUSEMAID COMES AND UNCLAMPS THE STEEL ARM!!
I just want to do things but I can’t do things and the party is coming next Saturday and I must not get into a bind, as my mother always said, I’m in a bind, yes she had this madness too. I think. If God had any sense he would get in here and sew on my wings. It is a crystal clear pond of the thing that I am meant to fly. And am not flying.
Please God damn all things heavy slag tar Georgia clay concrete. Damn them all and allow a little light in me today. You’ve started us all off with a weary drear cloudy we aren’t happy either said the trees birds huddled in their nests yes a little cheer would be good.
We did trim the tree last night.
am not sure if Lithium is working is there too much or not enough it works great for highs not so well for lows this baby would really rather the bough not break today
can’t tell a difference with no milk except that now I really want some cheese really do really it would be nice
am in pain but it’s not searing, except for the gland behind my right ear yesterday which was bright orange-yellow-red-dear-god-help-me.
yesterday took ½ pain pill because I thought if I don’t take this I won’t be able to be to market or anything. well it wasn’t enough.
glass of Champagne last night, one Miller Lite. Watched Hobbit. Up until after one. Will rue it I expect.