and yet i sit here nutting up, waiting to worship and meditate. until james is gone for the morning. and i've told Ro no interruptions.
i have the tv on as i write this, attention divided.
i had my hair did yesterday. this always helps the mood.
i am doing better, making progress, knowing when enough is enough. learning my own signals.
sunday evening, ro, net, dale, and i played our weekly game of pandemic legacy. when we were finished i had the impulse to keep on socializing, but it was making me crazed inside and i said, i'm overstimulated, i have to be alone. so i scooted into my blue room and decompressed, alone and content.
last night we went to classes at st. paul's. afterward, i got more excited the more i talked. but when it was time for bed, i went upstairs and prepared for sleeping and calmed down as dale read the horse and his boy to me. he is reading the chronicles of narnia to me. a very calm way to slip into sleep.
i have also made a decision about my eating. i've been having a difficult time, unable to maintain my weight, obsessing over sugar and food in general. obsessing over my fitness pal and polar flow. so yesterday i did the bravest thing i could think of--i changed my settings. i plugged in my ideal weight and will stop weighing and will learn to trust myself.
and continue to move, which i have done.
today the water and a few phone calls.
and listening to bubbles.