And still, this morning, up too early but as she went to bed at 8:30, 3:15 ain't so bad. And still, she can feel her chest tightening up. She can imagine that this day will be a repeat of yesterday. She can also imagine that today will be a great day. Somehow.
She can feel herself underneath the water. Of the sky. Of the pool. She can feel herself baptizing herself. Come by here, Lord. Push her down. She needs a good dunking.
And so the words lift her. As the Lord might lift her. Both require effort. And the ear open to listen the heart also opening. To listen.
Remind the chest. There is no pressure. There is no absolutely must. There is no do. And die in the doing. Or unmoor the girl in the undoing. Remind the chest. To lean toward its breath.
Remind the body to move. Heave to, the Fidget. The whirligig.
Of course, there is also the desire. To divide the day into equal parts. The better to consume them. To fit a thing into each hour. I need thee every hour.
I need thee.
Heave to, The Lord.