Even so I would rather teach Composition I right now. I am having fun fun fun. I am teaching these guys, really teaching. I don’t think I’ve done that in a long time, or felt connected to it.
I don’t know what will happen next semester. I think I hope I maybe want to teach again. But it is hard. And if the book sells then I’ll have a lot of work to do I will have to hop on and pretend I am a real writer.
Because I am feeling better much much better but every day I am afflicted by my throat my tummy my bowels bowels angry bowel gods every day all day you are too you just don’t have to think about them all the time.
As for today I don’t think I want church I have reading to do to prepare for tomorrow morning I have reading to do to prepare for tomorrow night I have lazing about to do to do what I want just leave me alone Jesus I am afraid I may finally fall in love with you after this year when we study the new testament I have never loved it and never loved you before especially because your hair is curly blond.
Especially because God can be anything everything he crawled under my eyelids and showed himself very early especially if I pushed down on my eyeballs and rolled them God is yellow green striped dark on the pillow God falls asleep with me.
Can you do that Lord Christ?
Also my back hurts.
Also I’m in a vicious battle with real butter. Again. This is involves dull knives an abacus a variety of spoons and a push-me-pull-you the saddest animal he cannot shit this could take all day.
Also, it rained most of the day yesterday and it looks rainy this wee morning and who wants to go unto God when it’s rainy especially when JESUS will be there.
Everything takes effort and when you don’t have it in you the effort-doing. Or you are lazy which could be the same thing we watched Disney’s Beauty And The Beast last night with James. It makes me sob. I try not to sob but I always sob.
Except at the end when this man and this woman do a creepy duet.
I sob at church, too. Really, it’s all about pretty music. Quite probable there’s no God at all.
Except for clouds. And maple leaves turned yellow. And Rome apples even though I cannot eat them.