I have decided to never leave my kitchen or my dining table a wreck when I go to bed. We have let this house go. It is always mussed up, dirty. We don’t vacuum often. The dining table is always covered with crap of all sorts. There are magazines and papers and clutter everywhere. The corners of the dining room and usually stuffed with boxes of things or packages. I never even go in the basement it’s so bad. The office is often a pile of junk. I go through the junk and get rid of the junk and then it fills up with junk again. The upstairs is so cluttered it’s a shame. Because it is such an awesome space. Today I will figure out some solutions. As long as my body cooperates.
Part of the problem is my impulse compulsion to keep everything. Something I learned from my mother. I am slowly learning how to change, but it is very hard. Because often I get rid of things and regret it later. Because you may need these things. Because you wish you had your graffiti jeans. The incredibly awesome dress from the eighties. The vintage pinstripe suit.
I will continue to keep all the memorabilia. Because I do find it later and say ah. Oh yes. But I just don’t have room for other things. Like copies of papers. Gifts that I neither want nor need. And I don’t have to recycle every single thing. Sometimes I just need to throw things away and be done. I do not have to donate every single thing. Sometimes I just need to throw things away. I do not have to keep food past the expiration date. And I do not have to buy more food than we need. I do not have to horde and packrat. Really.
Yesterday I didn’t do anything I’d planned to do. And I have no idea what I did. Until the evening when I watched Major Crimes with Dale. And then cleaned until the kitchen was clean and the dining table cleared.
I have a post-op appointment this afternoon. And I need to go to Chatt State so they can copy my SS card. I had to get a new one. Because they have to have an actual copy. I also have the Chatt State online training to do. Pronto. And then all that other stuff.
I have to figure out how to cook for two. We never eat leftovers. Our intentions are good, but we just do not eat them. For years I would cook a big pot of chili or pottage and we would eat on it all week. Dale doesn’t like to do that anymore. I also need to follow some recipes because my cooking sucks ass now. And there’s also the issue that I I would rather graze than eat a real supper. But that needs to change.
I am babbling. We will see what happens today. Whether I get things done or not. I really intend to. But you know that thing about that road.