on an up note, i just had eggs for breakfast and am feeling skippy. so maybe the pain is over. check and knock. and i didn't take the hateful Zofran last night. so maybe i'm wrong and the pain will drop off.
like the pain in my wrists and hands.
like the flu pain fibro asshole i can't-lift-myself-from-the-bed pain.
and i need to stop there or else the pains will return.
the power of voice. of thought.
as i mentioned the last time i was here, i have drawn into myself. other than my oldest closest friends and dale, i really don't want to see anyone. which means i should do a thing with someone. because it's not good to be fetal for too long.
will definitely be in church this sunday. we have entered the long stupid awful long stretch of normal church otherwise known as Pentecost. or summer. or so much daylight it's unnatural. daylight at six am. i am not complaining. i love sunlight. i love early mornings. evidently i love 3:00 am. or 3:30 am. or 4:27 am. which is when i got up this morning. but in bed by nine and sleeping shortly thereafter so a good amount of sleep.
let's see. what will we do today? convince becky to go to pool and walk and splash. go to grocery store. read. no doubt watch too much tv/movies.
dale and the gang will be playing D & D. which means i am on my own and can do pretty much anything i like. i just have to make sure that doesn't turn into not a damn thing or spending money i don't have.
if i can just get myself to set a couple of goals. please. not big goals but baby goals. and then concentrate on the goal and not the difficulty. like the weight thing. i'm doing extremely well with the weight thing.
because i have accepted a couple of things--
1. i will fall off the wagon. and when i do i must climb back in.
2. i have a serious problem with food. i am one of those people who will need to keep a food diary for the rest of my life.
this is actually a HUGE thing for me. i haven't gotten so far with weight loss in years. probably because i am concentrating on the goal and because no food is off limits. i absolutely eat whatever i want. it's a series of choices. and trades. and compromises. but i do not deprive myself of the fritter or the bacon cheeseburger.
getting on my own blah blah babbling nerves now. need to be quiet.