The gut doctors have come up with another bullshit disease for me.
which means no good food ever again. NO raw fruits or vegetables. NO peas or beans. NO RASPBERRIES. No Rome apples with awesome thick peels to chew and chew I love them so. I may be able to get away with bananas. I may be able to tolerate grits. But NO oatmeal. God really does hate me.
Have you ever even heard of this disorder?? It's a fancy word for a belly that doesn't empty at the proper speed. They say I have it. I hate them. They are probably wrong.
Plus I have to chew, really chew and as far as I can tell, chewing white bread, bagels, and string cheese is so terrible I do not even want to eat these things. And I love these things.
Plus I can only have about a cup of food at a time. This doesn't bother me too much because I feel better when I graze all day anyway.
I have never been a brothy bullshit runny soup person but I suppose I will become one. And eat this soup with large spoons.
I cannot even imagine eating meat. Because I would have to chew and chew and chew and that would be unbearable.
But maybe once my bowels are settled down I can eat a few berries once in a while. Maybe an apple. Maybe I will be able to eat a bit of burger without pulverizing it.
And I can eat cooked vegetables, but not some of my favorites. Like BRUSSELS SPROUTS. And I can have all kinds of white crap like white rice and white pasta and white bread. I don't suppose I can have cardboard because that would have too much fiber.
If they tell me I have to cut back on my non-caloric liquid intake, like WATER, I will walk into a large body of it and dive under and never come out.
But I must think of the good things I can have--
Cooked this and that vegetable I will have to experiment.
Low-fat cheese, ice cream, yogurt, puddings, custards.
And SUGAR SUGAR SUGAR SUGAR SUGAR! I's'a get me a Sonic Blueberry Raspberry Slushy Saturday.
Maybe they really are wrong, please, please. But the only times I haven't been nauseated in the past month are when I don't eat anything but clear liquids, or just don't eat at all.
Anyhow, it will make it easier to lose weight. That is something.
Pray big generous splashing prayers for me. Maybe the overseers will determine that this is just the Lithium. Or something. As Emily says, One must dwell in hope.