Forward Day by Day = Episcopal prayers by season and date. These are good. And I love that witchcraft kismet thing where you open a book and read the very thing you needed to read. It speaks to you. It sparks.
I am reading Practice of Prayer by Margaret Guenther and Christianity for the Rest of Us by Diana Butler Bass. I am enjoying both of these, but yesterday, even though I wanted to do a lot of reading, I didn’t. I just felt too awful to do much of anything.
The question now is to learn what it means to have a spiritual practice, a way, to walk in God. With God. To do unto others. And unto myself.
His suffering never seemed all that to me. Lots of people have suffered far worse.
People have told me that his suffering was worse because he was without sin he was divine he took on the weight of all our sins.
Ba. I figure if you are divine and you know you're coming back after you die, then what is the big deal?
People have told me that he didn't know. Which makes for a much more interesting story. Just as a capricious God fallible confused mixed up like us makes for a much better story.
Still, I am beginning to be interested in him. The things they say he said.
The question in EFM last week, “Do we really want to take care of each other?” and “Do we really believe that the kingdom of God can be here on earth?” Is the world of Star Trek Next Generation possible? Do we want to cure poverty? Do we want to share? Do we want to do unto others? Do we want to be about the business of God?
I think answering these questions is particularly hard when one comes from a place of privilege, looks through the eyes of one who has never been hungry, never been homeless, never been in prison. Never watched your babies die. Never been raped. Beaten. Enslaved.
I need a paradigm shift, away from capitalism to generosity. I am such a capitalist. In my bones. From my mother’s family. I watch my stocks going up and up. And I look forward to a future when Dale will retire and we can do whatever that thing is we want to do with the rest of our lives.
But I have a growing awareness that death is imminent. Not that I think I’m going to die soon, but that it is coming and we cannot store up we cannot take it with us.
Our economic system is built on spending. And more spending. George Bush gave a tax cut and folks were excepted to go out and spend. Whenever gas prices fell, folks were expected to go out and spend. And spend some more. Because we need to grow. And grow.
Capitalism is failing. Our political machine is failing. What works well in other countries? Socialism. Sometimes.
But I refuse to believe that we are fundamentally evil. We are not. But when evilness greed hatred takes hold we get scared and when we get scared we forget our duty—to be kind to each other, to share with each other.
I am, obviously, an idealist. Always have been.
But the question is what will I do with all this?