Here is my daily practice--eat, poop, pee, talk, check email, watch TV. Usually I write. Sometimes I twist my ankles round and round. Often I go out and do things. But there is no definite routine. I wish there were. But I don’t know if it’s even possible. I don’t even know if I want it.
Even when I worked fulltime, the routine was get up and eat and at some point go to work. Then ignore student papers and class prep as long as possible. Pull a couple of ten hour grading sessions each semester. Go to department meetings once a month. But nothing routine.
Does God want a daily practice? If so, why? And why is it that I am and have always been so resistant to habit? Except harmful ones? Unmindful ones?
And yet, it does feel good to look into the book. And then look into the other book. Psalm 18 is especially fine because God is a dragon and he whirls down riding on a cherub and he has saves me because I DELIGHT HIM. Poetry. Metaphor. I’m like Meg in A Wrinkle in Time when Mrs. Who explains the tesseract with her skirt. I have to get it in flashes, God in spurts of water, fountains of fire. Sparks in the pan. Maybe this is because you can’t look at him directly or you will go blind. Like the sun. I already have enough floaters.
Maybe finding God is like sifting for rubies. If you do find one, it will likely be small and quite dull red. No shine at all. I found one the size of my fingertip. It was not thrilling. However, I have never panned for gold.
I watched The Two Faces of January last night. And enjoyed it very much. The Talented Mr. Ripley has long been a favorite, a watch over and over favorite, and Two Faces is also based on a Patricia Highsmith novel. I like movies/stories that are about characters, real people. The film reminded me a little of The Sheltering Sky. Both films are set in exotic places, and while the land is big part of each story, it is not a lead actor as it is in Out of Africa. Or Giant. Well one could argue that the land is the only character in The Sheltering Sky. Bah.
Will be having another eye exam this afternoon. I’m going to have to get stronger reading glasses and new lenses in my regular glasses. The reading portion of my current lenses is useless now.
When I go for the eye exam I will have lunch with Annette. Other than that, not much going down. Dale and I both feel like shit. He has the same crud I have. It has not finished with me yet.