first night on firm firm firm new mattress. this may be a princess and a pea. note to mattress shoppers. yes, lie on the bed but also sit on the side of the bed and consider the hard ridged stitching on the edge rim yes it is a rim and the mattress is very think so much thicker higher my feet don’t quite touch the floor getting in is more of a climb but it is firm I do not sink it is not quicksand it is not a quagmire it is not what was before what went out the door yesterday what is gone I fear Dale will wake up and curse me curse me for insisting quite on the spur today this day right now right now now now on making a mattress change
writing that last paragraph woke me up a bit. the Plantation Mint tea did not do the thing. I don’t think coffee wakes me up but I do know that no coffee makes me its loss its less awake hard to figure had thintastic white bagel w butter then had oatmeal with Hunzas and walnuts and maple syrup have smoked one whole cigarette have taken pills am awake even more the more I write
went to bed at ten and woke up at five to a rejection. of poems. of very fine poems. the same poems they are all rejecting. which perhaps means they are not very fine or even fine. or even good.
the rejection was a good one. the editor explained, sort of, why he did not want the poems about his personal, tastes, rhythm, etc. these poems did not fit that. and at the end he asked me to forgive him which is very weird but not as weird as the new use of “warm.” warm regards. warmly. I’d rather they would say “wet.” or “moist.” moist regards. must moist regards. warmly most warmly and please forgive me I am rejecting you I am also not asking you to please send more work. soon.
is there any reason to publish in print journals? I’m thinking not so much not so much a reason. there used to be a huge reason. but now not so much now. nobody much reads this or that print journal not unless the print journal is very “important” to academe or the teaching a literary career so really there isn’t. one must publish in places where people will actually read you or at least read your titles and your bio and peer at your picture for a second or two.
have delved into Mary Gatskill’s Because They Wanted To. I had read been haunted by her story, “The Girl on the Plane,” and then I wrote a story in response to that story as it haunted me so much so I downloaded the collection and the writing surprised me at first so many modifiers almost flowery the first story but then I began to understand and have learned so much already new things to try true craft lessons on every page learning while reading while escaping so good my motive is to read some collections of short stories and see how they work so that I can gather my own. I haven’t read a collection in ages, maybe not since I devoured Ellen Gilchrist. no, there have been others. Sybil Baker and Tom Balazs, my former colleagues. surely some things in undergrad. Surely? anyhow I need to know how to push the things together into onto a canvas into a grouping that makes sense or is pleasing or does the things that groups collections of short stories should do or want to do need to.
am now munching M & Ms even though I don’t like them very much. need to shove off to something else. there is a girl in the peanut butter room talking on the phone. I didn’t know she was there. I thought I was hearing things. at least it’s light outside. she must belong to Alex.