But the sun was out. Dale and I went out for lunch. We got a couple new tires for my car. Then I went to the grocery store. And just wanted to keep going. The sun was out so brilliant. I started to take a blanket and lie out in the front yard. But I didn’t. But I may today if the sun shines for me today, all for me, that is my sun. That is my almost perfect blue sky. The difference in mood is extraordinary.
But it can turn on a dime. Last night it was jealousy. I visited a friend’s website and I was why not me me me? Blah blah envy green very green Hericot Vert I wish they’d just call them green beans. Really.
But after my pity party I came downstairs and Dale, James, and I watched The Lego Movie. James didn’t like it because the humor was over his head. Dale and I were dying. It is the funniest thing, brilliant thing. A wild mess of color and silliness and ridiculousness. And at the end it made me cry. There is nothing so satisfying as watching a movie with zero expectations. Zero often hits the bulls eye. Loved it.
Did do a couple of submissions yesterday. Submitted some of the God poems to a Christian journal called Relief. And I submitted the lyric thing that I wrote New Year’s Eve to Revolver. I love the piece. I posted it here and left it up a couple of days. So I have a good handful of things out and am of course excepting some acceptances. Which seems a surefire way to get rejections.
The big thing is to get started on a book. To focus. It is a hard thing. I am trying to find a balance in my life—the right amount of structure. To be moving to be social to be teaching to be the love goddess of the Western Hemisphere. To be a mother daughter sister friend best friend. To keep the demon hairy beast sharp clawed mouth thing at bay. To be open open so wide open so God pours in a great river of gods rushes into my mouth and burns words the orange hot words the brain the words they sprout out burst forth my face over the waters moving moving my hands my fingers I must seek God and you and all those people waiting for me up there the sentence paragraph period comma storyish place. The rhyme. The hokey poky.
I have hip pain this morning and damned knee knee be damned is threatening to lock down lock up but I am determined to make it to church. Actually. I am going to jump into my clothes right now and go to the early service.
I did jump up and go to the early service. I loved it. Then went to breakfast. Loved it. Then went to lectionary class. Loved it. Then came home got Dale and we got Linda Sue and went over to Lanie's. She had prepared a fabulous brunch for us. Lovely to see her, and to eat the food. I could eat breakfast forever and ever. In heaven. No mansion. No streets of gold. Just a greasy spoon of a thing that serves breakfast and nothing but breakfast all day every day. I'll do that for the first ten thousand years. Then I may take a walk.
Will see therapist in the morning. Knee is fucking its jiggity crap dance I will come loose I will break off the bone will poke through, finally. It feels just like that.
Other than that it's been a good day. Very. Blue skies beat the shit out of a bad mood. Beat it bloody lip puffy eye and all. God be praised.